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Golden Age
The Golden Age of CS began with the formation of the RP group and lasted through the Florida/Nexus plotline. A Brief History of Cracksmash CrackSmash is an Avengers crack roleplay group, consisting of several Tumblr users who decided to get together and pretend to be superheros online. The content of the RP is generally not serious and is fairly lighthearted, though on occasion things may end up being darker than anticipated. For those of you who have decided to come and watch these RP shenanigans and don't wish to wade through lots of convoluted reblogs, here's a short synopsis of what's been going on, as well as some of the in-jokes which are often times referenced. Most of the action takes place in some indeterminate location, which sometimes seems to be the Avengers Tower and sometimes seems to be a SHIELD location. The Avengers come and go as they please, often times dropping in to sample Tony's Starkified coffee (which has since been discontinued on account of potentially causing hallucinations and hair loss in Asgardians). The time frame is sometime between the end of the fight in the Avengers movie and when Thor and Loki return to Asgard, so Loki is hanging around, originally in a reinforced cupboard that Natasha set up, then in Tony Stark's alcohol closet, and now in a SHIELD cell. He is bound and gagged, but once a week SHIELD takes off the gag and allows him to speak. This generally results in him antagonizing the Avengers, flirting with Tony Stark, and having passive aggressive, heartbreaking conversations with his brother. There are numerous occurrences at the Avengers Tower, often spearheaded by Tony Stark and his inventions, which often include arc reactors. Early on, his Starkified Coffee became a source of wonder to the rest of the Avengers, though the metallic taste made many of them cautious. After Bruce Banner noticed that drinking it in extreme quantities caused both a dramatic shortening of Thor's hair, as well as possible hallucinations of talking hamsters, the Starkified coffee machine was deemed a hazard and retired. Tony Stark has also created the WARGOAT, an extreme version of a goat upgraded with guns, cannons, treads (it's all terrain), an arc reactor, and shades to increase its coolness level. WARGOAT, apart from being the most secret weapon of the Avengers, has a penchant for eating things, like Thor's cloak and has also attempted to eat Mjolnir. To be fair, Thor has tried to eat Tony's awards, so perhaps they are even on that account. Natasha Romanoff is the main source of information in the group, and is very accomplished in discovering the most embarrassing pictures of the rest of the team. Often time, these are spreads from Crotch Monthly, a magazine run by Tony Stark. These magazines are often given to Loki in his cell, to give him some form of entertainment during his stay. Clint Barton, resident nest-maker and eyeliner wearer, often steals clothing from Natasha's closet, taunts Loki, and is often distracted by bits of cereal left about on the ground. He's still trying to figure out all of the side effect from the multiple cognitive recalibrations he's had, and in darker moments he worries about how much influence Loki still has over his mind. Also: he would prefer if you did not mention the mullet he used to have. Asking him about his Tesseract Blue eyeliner is a much safer route. It should be noted that Steve Rogers and Tony Stark should probably not try to spar anymore, as it results in Tony Stark getting knocked on his ass multiple times. Bruce Banner, often incredibly apologetic about Hulking out around people, has become partners in crime with Tony's often suspect science projects. He and Thor are also smashing bros, as the Asgardian is more durable than the rest of the team when it comes to getting pummeled by a giant green guy. Recently, with the possible invasion of talking radioactive hamster, several cats were acquired to ferret out hamsters from the walls. While there might be dead hamsters in the walls (something Thor is quite upset about), the group is attempting to discover if and where there hamsters might be. Many other character drop by the Avengers Tower or contact the group, like Jane Foster who's touching reunion with Thor was derailed by the possibility of radioactive hamster. Pepper Potts drops by to make sure Tony doesn't get into too much trouble, and JARVIS will often times reveal secrets about Tony's past that he might have wanted to keep secret. Both Coulson and Maria Hill drop by on occasion when things get too out of hand, and Sif sometimes visits from Asgard (though how she got here no one knows). Darcy Lewis has also become a staple of the Avengers Tower, hacking into Thor's blog, sometimes answering his mail, and bugging Loki. As a crack RP, what happens next is anyone's guess, and things often spiral into the ridiculous. But, if you've stopped by, we hope you enjoy! Cracksmash 2: Electric Boogaloo Ever ready for more epic adventures, the Avengers were not prepared for the horrors that the Black Widow chooses to unleash upon the team: video footage of Tony Stark in nothing more than a conveniently placed scrap of cloth an a luxurious wig. The team reacted to this with laughter and, in Bruce Banner's case, with the appearance of a thoroughly amused Hulk. While the jokes about the wig ceased, the Hulk was not yet ready to leave, and thus began the mighty battle between the God of Thunder and the Hulk, in which they did fight one another. In a sparring room. And with Hulk allowing Thor one free shot to start the match. Luckily, the only injured party in this sparring exercise was the floor. Later, the group decided that a television night was in order, and it was also decided that everyone (including Loki) needed to watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. While many of the Avengers did not quite seem to understand what was so appealing about brightly colored talking ponies who also sang, Loki did seem to take some amusement out of the show. Unexpectedly, character development for Thor arose out of watching this kid's show, when Bruce Banner compared the relationship between Princess Celestia and Nightmare Moon to Thor and Loki, and Thor determined that reconciliation could not be so simple as this cartoon would make it appear. As most know, Tony Stark does not know when to leave well enough alone. For reasons that only he fully knows, he decided to get Loki, magical trickster god who had only recently tried to take over the world, drunk. And, for whatever reason, allowed him to do magic. As far as anyone knows, this only lead to some minor tricks, the most dangerous being him deciding to take on the form of Tony's father, a decidedly foolish thing for him to do so soon after he had recently brought up Pepper Potts within a conversation. While Tony was somewhat rattled by the encounter, Loki came out of the night with a massive hangover and a very blurry memory of what had occurred. At some point during all of this, Clint made the poor choice of stealing a certain item of Natasha's. While this has not yet been resolved, it is fairly accepted that Clint makes bad choices in general and that this incident was not out of character for him. Additionally, Bruce Banner made a friend of a young girl who says she is Loki's daughter, and who seems to share some of his trickster spirit, which she has channeled into drawing on the walls and generally annoying Tony Stark. The morning after all of the drinking and poor choices, Thor returned to find his brother unconscious and a very suspect Tony Stark, but all yelling matches were put aside by the appearance of the Mindless Ones, large golems who possessed the power to shoot lasers from their eyes. They came through a magical portal in the streets of New York City, and the Avengers swiftly assembled. There was much sneaking and shooting from Natasha, and much snark from Clint, and much smashing from Hulk and Thor. Tony Stark discovered a weakness in the portal, and it was closed, though not before some damaged was taken by both the street and a few of the Avengers. Upon the end of the battle, tensions rose between Thor and Tony. The ensuing argument was one that Bruce could not defuse, no matter how many deep breathing techniques he tried to get them to use. With the appearance of a magical portal and Loki having been unchained and drunk the night before, it was possible that Tony's antics had created the mess of that morning. The argument quickly turned into yelling, and at the end both Thor and Tony left a bewildered Bruce behind. Luckily, once each had cooled down, apologizes were made, and it seems that the two have settled their differences - or have they? *cue dramatic ending music* Cracksmash 3: Revenge of Character Development Our story begins as the Avengers put out a call for an intern. To be an intern for the Avengers - or, more specifically, for Tony Stark - requires certain skills. The ability to put up with anything, including sentient toasters. Luckily, the call is answered by a very special person. Peter Parker rises to the occasion, coming to work at the Tower doing whatever the Avengers need. Which is mostly fetching coffee and putting up with Clint's sense of humor. Speaking of Clint, the thrilling conclusion to the Bra Incident occurs, wherein Steve Rogers is roped into apologizing to the fiery Natasha and also charged with returning her bra to her. Natasha, naturally, is not amused. Clint, suspecting that this is THE END OF ALL THINGS, starts to search for a new place to stay, when he and Natasha sit down and talk, whereupon everyone is shocked to discover that Natasha planned the whole thing to bring to light that Clint is still having memory lapses. There is a touching reunion between the two and Clint is allowed to remain in her apartment. After this, there is a veritable whirlwind of shenanigans. And shocking character development. Tony Stark makes the poor life decision of playing with portals, and nearly explodes poor intern Parker. Peter gets lost in New York, helps out Nevy and the Cleaning Lady, and is generally adorable. Character development continues to shock everyone - no one is ever prepared for it. Father's Day comes, and with it everyone with Daddy Issues spends a lot of time deep in thought, trying desperately to avoid the Character Development, which has become a bigger and bigger problem at the Tower. Tony Stark continues with his mission to make terrible life choices and tries to drink Thor under the table, though this does end with a party with Bruce and Steve, so perhaps it isn't all bad. Bruce and Tony have multiple heart to hearts, and everyone begins to worry that they might one day plan to take over the world in the name of SCIENCE. Things take a turn for the dramatic with the news that SHIELD wants the team to travel to Florida for an unknown reason. Planning for the trip goes into effect - Tony Stark realizes that neither Thor nor Steve have proper swimming attire and takes them out shopping in New York City. Thankfully, both Thor and Steve have enough common sense not to listen to Tony's suggestions as to what they should wear. Knowing that he won't see her for awhile, Thor spends an evening on a date with Jane Foster. Sadly, it is interrupted by timezones and the need to forward the whole group to Florida while people were actually awake. Fast forward to Florida, where SHIELD is strangely lax about security on Loki. While it becomes clear that he's been drugged such that he cannot use his magic, his free range of the hotel is worrying. But before too much drama can set in, Bruce and Natasha manage to spend an enjoyable few hours in the spa, Steve and Thor enjoy swimming and food at the pool, Tony attempts to convince Thor that he should release the Kracken, and Bruce is thoroughly drenched from people splashing him. Then, Drama and Angst decide to rear their heads as Loki takes a trip down to the pool. There is instant tension there, though the levity remains for just a little as Clint and Loki try to one up the other in swimming laps. Loki eventually retires to the hotel, where things start to go bad. The first of the many terrible events to follow is Loki's choice to enter the bar where Tony is drinking. They both drink and are generally awful to each other through speech, but then Tony decides to attack Loki, smashing a glass in his face. The drugs worn off enough to use his magic, Loki retaliates, and Thor enters the scene just in time to see his brother, his face covered in blood, throw Tony with magic. This does not yet turn into a yelling match to rival the one following the Mindless Ones attack, but only because Bruce manages to remove Tony from the scene in time. Thor can barely stand to look at his brother in that moment, and everyone flees the scene. Eventually, Bruce convinces Tony to apologize once more, though there is no remorse as to actually having beat up Loki. Clint catches up with Thor some distance from the hotel and they talk for a bit, wherein Clint reveals some of his own tumultuous past with his own brother. Before Tony can track Thor down, the Asgardian happens upon his brother, still in the hotel bar, and getting unhappily drunk off of terrible Midgardian alcohol. They talk and are surprisingly open with one another, which should have been a tip off to everyone right then and there that terrible things would be happening soon. Loki actually apologizes to Thor, which should have told EVERYONE that things would go REALLY bad. Later, there are more conversations to be had, where in Bruce and Loki discuss sharks and Tony and Thor have another talk about apologies and family. Throughout this, Peter is still being adorable, though he finds that he still frightens the hotel staff by popping up in odd places and is just generally an awkward ball of Spider-man. The plot really begins to kick in when Nick Fury and Loki depart out into the swamp. Later, only Loki returns, and when Natasha and Tony go to investigate, they are met by Man-Thing, a creature that was once human and can feel emotion. Tony is badly injured, but Natasha manages to get him out of the Florida swamp and back to the hotel. There, the Avengers converge. Bruce works on determining how the creature managed to hurt Tony and dissolve his armor (acid), and Thor and Steve confront Loki. He reveals that there is a Nexus in the swamp, a convergence of realities, and that Nick Fury had been pulled into it. The Man-Thing serves as a guardian to the Nexus, and was dangerous enough for Loki to run before he could go through the Nexus himself. Thor takes some time to scout out the Nexus and verify the story - he does find the convergence of power, and returns to speak with his brother. This leads to a decision most terrible - Loki will aid them in attempting to bring Nick Fury back through the Nexus. While Thor offers to trust his brother, he makes it clear that a betrayal of this trust could mean this is the last time he will be able to trust him. Natasha assembles the team and preparations occur for the venture into the swamp. Tony get s new suit of armor and also develops a rather potent weed killer, and is then aided by Bruce Banner in escaping from the hospital, as well as by his own uncanny resemblance to Dr. Strange. The team heads into the swamp, where they engage Man-Thing in battle. It is a formidable opponent which targets mostly Loki, who attempts to manipulate the portal to find Nick Fury. The team distracts the team as Loki attempts to open the portal, though as Man-Thing takes down his shielding spell and Loki's magic wanes, he determines that he is unable to retrieve Nick Fury and instead steps through the Nexus himself. At this point, both Hulk and Thor spin out of control, which only spurs the Man-Thing into more aggression, targeting the two of them. The acid it secretes proves to be damaging to both of them, though they ignore it as they fight. Captain America tries to reign in the group as the situation proves hopeless, and Tony tries to talk Banner down, though it takes a good while for either of them to get through to their rampaging teammates. Through this, Spider Man tries to talk down the Man-Thing, though he is not very successful. Eventually, Steve and Tony manage to get Thor and Bruce to disengage. No one is happy with how things turned out, and the team lies in disarray as they leave the site of the Nexus, without Nick Fury, and without Loki. It is a dire situation which can only call for one thing: the Incredible Antman and his army of amazing ants! Sadly, no one thinks to call him in on this one. Perhaps...next time?